When I Tell Everyone It's Good

To write about movie always make me feel uncomfortable. Just because I'm afraid that it'll lead to the misunderstanding and expectation from readers (in this case, I mean, for those who passing by -- as I'm not the famous blogger with tons of followers.) I personally love movie. I wish I could watch them every single day as my routine or as I drink 3 cups of coffee per day. When I have a conversation with people, I always talk about movie.  

"You watch Wong Kar Wai's?"
"No, never."
"Oh, you should try, it's good."

I hate myself sometimes when I add 'It's good' to every recommendation. It makes me feel like I brag around, like I totally know which one is good and which one is bad. I don't want people misunderstand me as a kind of snobby movie critic, which I personally hate. When I said it's good, I just want that people to sense it, not only watch it. I just wish that they could somehow feel the same emotion as mine when I watch. And it's the way to introduce my favorite movie to another people so it might become their favorite, too. When I say 'It's good', I just want to give my favorite movie a chance to be other's favorite as well.

And When I know I love that movie, it always because some exact moment or conversation in that movie which lead me to a big crush. Like this;


Me, floating in some spaces.

It's been a while since last updated! I feel like a pathetic mess now, so I have to drain something out here to keep my head manageable. So, this entry will be a kind of endless randomness.


I've been to Kuchl, Austria. Such a lovely place. People are so nice and things are slower. I forget the whole fucked up world for a while. Wake up among the cold morning fog, is the best moment of the awakening.

Summer of Love party at Hellebæk, take a train for almost 2 hours until I reach the destination, the party is in the midst of the woods and we have to find the place where the party held by ourselves from the map. Very nice, very nice. It's Jens and Jakob's party with all those friendly strangers. Have a high impression on the guy with Frank Zappa's mustache name's Martin. Damn me that I realize this few days later -- so I have no chance to keep in touch with him again! Have some issues about my Asian thing and politeness, so I guess we just have to try to learn to accept each other. Btw, thanks all my folks for the best night ever and all those breathtaking performances. In the middle of some performance, the wind blows so heavily then I feel a bit cold so I'm off the tent to stand aside the bonfire. Then I see the tent blowing away and people just shouting out loud. At first we seem a little freeze in a moment but then we all can't help laughing! It's the moment to remember, really, which I'd love to call as the Beautiful Disaster, hahaha. So, that night we have to squeeze ourselves here and there inside the unable-to-be- fixed tent. What a nice night!

The Arcade Fire gig at Ballerup Super Arena, with Jakob and Jeffrey. At first I thought I might go there alone and have no idea where this fucking arena is, so I use Rejseplanen, which I must say that it's the one of my favorite thing in Danish convention. Just my luck that Jakob and Jeff will go there as well so I kinda tag along with them. The Arcade Fire is damn great, they start with Ready To Start and I keep crossing my fingers for Wake Up and Tunnels, and they play these 2 favorite songs of mine, hahahaha. Have a really nice time and interesting chat with these dudes. "Hey, don't smoke too much, it's unhealthy, you know?" Jakob says this to me. "Yeah, and the only reason I keep on smoking is just because I wanna be unhealthy, I want to destroy myself, so that's why I smoke." Me answer. Then he laugh and put his hand on my head and says "You're crazy, you are really insane." :D

I gain so much weight even if I know I shouldn't eat too much sweets, I read many book but never feel like it's enough, I'm greedy for knowing, I feel so old but not very wise (quoted from An Education), that's why I keep reading but I have to fight with my limitation of understanding. I watch many films and stuck with some lines for a long period of time. I love Miranda July and Sophie Calle, in some ways, these two women reflect one another, when I read something by July, I can't help thinking of Calle. When I encounter something by Calle, it reminds me of July. I miss my mom, my family, my friends, because here, I always in the situation of Don't Know Where To Put Myself In. I wish I could express more, type things directly from my head to the blank page of fake-wanna-be paper here. Will life ever be sane again?


Dear Ms. Gilbert,

In past few days, I have a chance to spent some time in Italy. It was my big surprise and I was so excited about this trip. To be honest, Ms. Elizabeth Gilbert,your story with Julia Roberts' face is the first thing popping up in my head when I heard this big news. I even watched Eat Pray Love again before my trip as I have a high expectation to walk in the same path, to notice the same scene, to sense the same experience, just like yours. I even wish I could feel like the wonderful song of Beirut; Postcard from Italy, which has the dreamy lyric. But my trip is like the explanation below;

I won't complain about all of the chances I've got. To be in Italy and spend a few pennies are such a grateful opportunity. But I have to stay in a campsite, which is way out of my thought. The campsite is where chaos is. I personally hate a space with a bunch of people, well, except for concert and bar. The weather is nice but my skin is worst than ever. As an Asian woman with normal skin tone of NC20, I never want to be brighter as well as tanner than this -- which means I'm perfectly okay with what I always got. So, there's no need sunbathe like all others, and no need whitening lotion, too. While most people enjoy wearing their bikini and soaking up the sun at the campsite's beach, I turn to Kafka on the Shore and read it as I run a marathon. Which is quite a record for me, though, cause I finished it within 4 days. Nothing impressing or outstanding at all. Except the German family nearby my place that their teenage son wear AC/DC tee and smoking together with the parents.

I have a chance to go to Venice and it's the hottest day ever. It seems like I run out of all luck because this period of time is when all people got their fucking holidays. Venice with a bunch of people never be nice in my dictionary. Food is normal, Gelato is great, Guys are not my type at all -- I mean they're too perfect, too good-looking with all those six pacts and tan skin, wear Rayban shades walking around, It's like I'm looking at tons of the clonings. By the way, I got the peaceful 20 minutes on the Gondola. It somehow reminds me the scene of Luchino Visconti's Death In Venice and I love to see the old buildings with all dust and smudge flaws of what they've been through. And that 20 minutes is all and only priceless moment to remember in this trip.

I wish I could absorb Italy just like you, Ms. Gilbert, but I couldn't. Maybe I went the wrong day, wrong place, wrong time. But as Shakespeare once said: 'Expectation is the root of all heartache.' yes, yes, yes, that's all my innermost feeling for this trip. But don't worry, Ms. Gilbert, cause I'll give Italy a try again.



Gone Reading (:

I'll disappear from this blog for few days ... generally for reading and visit new places for inspirations. Here's some books for my summer reading, I got them from the most favorite place to hide -- library. The moment I found The Bell Jar, is the first thrilled moment for this week. 

I'll be back in 10 days.


I'll take my shoes for a walk.

Every time when I purchased new pair of shoes, I always feel awkward to wear them.

They're too new and too clean. And I don't feel comfortable using them at all. Just because I don't think they'll suit me perfectly. Every part of me is not that brand new, I wear my old tee, old jacket, old jeans, and even myself -- is not that new. So I feel this strange feeling every time. I have to make my new shoes dirty, I have to destroy their cleanness and neatness, to make them get used to my life, to give them a joy of stepping on the muddy dusty ground. Then I'll feel they finally has been a part of me.

Like today, I wake up in the morning and it's raining but I have this idea on my mind. I wear my new shoes for the first time. And I think; I'll take my shoes for a walk.

PS. Sunday Noise No.2


Marry me, Marie?

Almost finish 'No One Belongs Here More Than You'. I got 2 chapters left, but I paused it as always. Have you ever feel that for a period of time you've been carrying one book around, always find it in your bag, always dig it out of the messy bag and read it everywhere. Always feel safe and warm to know that it's in the bag. Always feel like you have a new friend, you want to know more about this new friend and you communicate to each other by reading? Time passes, you almost come to the last chapter, and then you suddenly realize that it's going to be over. So you become insecure and a little bit lost?

Yeah, I feel for every book that way. Always.

So, that's why I have to paused the current book and start to read the new one. Until I get used to that new one, then I'll back to the old book and finish it.


This is a kind of friend that I really have a good time with. It's interesting and weird and always surprises me. I have too much underlined part on this book. Why don't I met this kind of person in my real life?, I doubt, because if I met this kind of No One Belong Here More Than You person, I'll definitely keep him or her as a close friend.

By the way, I watched Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette again, for the zillion times. And every time after watching it, I'll keep listening to the Soundtrack.

Ceremony by New Order is my most favorite track.
I also wrote down; 'I want to dance with my groom in this song on our wedding day.' at my shitloads 'Things to do in Life' list.




Cause everything around me's changed.
But the garden that you planted remains.


PS. I do love the entire lyric, and it's the soundtrack of my life right this moment. (:



Washed Out - Good Luck
I wish this song could has 10 minutes long. And even if it's 20 minutes, I'll keep on repeating this forever anyway.


Dedicated to my Favorite Love Song

In the mood for love, anyone? Well, actually this is the thing popped up in my head during vacuuming bedroom. Love Song and Dusty Room ... um ... nothing relevant, hahaha. By the way, I always wonder of other people's favorite love song. Like my mom, I know she loves Sir Paul McCartney's This Never Happened Before, or Chicago's The Beginning, they seem corny and mushy but they're her favorites.

For me, to choose which ONE is my favorite love song is the hardest thing to do. Because I really can't pick only one from my 'it-goes-on-like-forever list'. By the way, here are some of my favorites;

//////////////// You and Me Then? - The Radio Dept.

Only one sentence from the beginning to the end.It drown me. Overflow. Nothing more on the lyric but this sentence; 'I was afraid I wouldn't find you.' Say less and feel more, and it's the exact feeling of people in search of love, or in love, or trying to hold on to love, or even lost. I mean this is love, this is what people feel for love. And I, myself, think over about this only sentence repeatedly; Yes I was afraid, what if I wouldn't find that one?

//////////////// Bluish / Summertime Clothes - Animal Collective


I got a big crush for these two songs from my favorite band, Animal Collective. They're from the different album, but the same emotion. There's something in common between these two, they make me feel love without the word 'Love' in the lyrics. Otherwise, it's like you're taking drugs, and then you're really high, so you go out just to wandering around, but found that one then falling in love. Bluish is from Strawberry Jam, I love the whole ravishing track. It's the precise feelings of people in love. Nobody can feel this way if they're not in love, 
'I'm getting lost in your curls, I'm drawing pictures on your skin, so soft it twirls.' 
'I like the way you squeeze my hand, pulling me into another dream, a lucid dream.'
This stunning common thing is so amazing. The normal thing that becomes special in people that we're in love with.


Summertime Clothes is from Merriweather Post Pavillion, I do love every sentences, every words. It's only people that is in love who can produce this such wonderful lyric, people in love'd be able to understand this emotion. 

'We'll dance to the songs from the cars as they pass. 
Weave through the cardboard, smell that trash.
Walking around in our summertime clothes.'

Can you see how normal but strangely beautiful they are? I think it's romantic, even without the sickly sweet 'I'll love you forever' stuffs. Even the word 'Smell That Trash' also fucking romantic to me. Hahaha, a bit weird? But this is love, cause love is suppose to be weird. It ends with 'I want to walk around with you. Just you, just you, just you…' From self experience, I can surely tell you that if the only thing that seems matter, is just to walk with someone, there's a possibility that you got a big crush on him. Trust me, I used to feel this before, and I miss it so bad. Because with person you love, you have to add 'extra' as the prefix for 'ordinary'.

//////////////// Honey in the Sun - The Camera Obscura


Sweet is the only word for this song. It's love song, but in the different mood, it's cute and make me smile. 'I wish my heart was as cold as the morning dew but it's as warm as saxophones and honey in the sun for you.' Yes, yes, yes, I agree.

//////////////// Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet Underground

I wouldn't fall too much for this song, if I'm not personally accidentally got a high impression on the pale blue eyes man. Dammit, Nara, you're so weak to fell for the pale blue eyes guy and obsessed to pale blue eyes song. Anyway, I did love this song before this 'lovestruck crap', but not THIS much! Then I found this man whose his eyes have the light shade of blue, who loves The Doors and reads Murakami's. I mean, I'm a little bit glad that finally, I could have one song that somehow utterly effected to my life. And the man I fell for is not the one with green eyes or black eyes or whatever but they're exactly pale and blue. And all my feelings to this song are blissful, obsessional, heart broken, speechless. Then came up like 'Yeah, finally in my life, there's the song that completely relate to someone.' By the way he'll never know this -- never know how much he meant to me, how much I unrequited in love with him, and how grateful I am that it's The Velvet Underground's song which reminds me of him. But, sadly, he probably doesn't know any goddamn things. Hahaha. So -- Linger on, your pale blue eyes ...


For those who accidentally passing by or read this post by chance or whatsoever, please leave your comment about your favorite love song, I'm fascinating about this, curious to know. :D